


September Fades

by miseryroot



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, READ THE TAGS SERIOUSLY, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:26:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miseryroot/pseuds/miseryroot
Summary: Peridot's rich, Lapis is an escort and everything is not okay.Back at it with another songfic. September Stays by Ralph. If you are easily triggered make sure you read the tags!





	September Fades

"S-so how old are you? I could get you a drink but.." Peridot stammered, the look of discomfort clear on her face. Having a first date was awkward.

It was especially awkward if you were an extremely wealthy, closeted lesbian with a family at home. Awkward bonus point if you paid for the date.

"I'm legal, ma'am. Twenty-one exactly." The young girl mused, setting a hand on top of the older woman's, "Do you not like younger women?"

"N-no it's not that! It's just.. I'm thirteen years older than you wow.." Peridot murmured, a light blush on her face from the hand contact.

"Hey, that's good with me. I happen to like older women." A grin stretched across the escort's lips, and she winked at the blonde.

"Oh, stars.."

Thankfully the waiter came up a second later and they ordered their drinks. A martini and vodka on the rocks.

"So straight vodka, huh?" Peridot asked, stomach turning a bit at the thought.

"I don't like unnessacary carbs, and I do like drinking with a purpose."

Peridot thought that the girl had looked rather skinny. She supposed if she worked in the sex industry she'd want to maintain a model's waistline, too.

The girl's looks probably really mattered as far as money went, and possibly how she was treated. Most people are more inclined to treat woman who conform to society's standard of beauty better.

"You're uncomfortable. It's alright. You can just think of me as a doll who talks back." The girl mused, "There's no need to be nervous. My time is your's. And in this time I'm your's as well."

"Ah.. Miss Lazuli, I'm sure you're very good at your job, and normally I'm sure this would be very comforting to hear but.." Peridot sighed, blush coming across her face, "I've never done this before, so that's why I'm so on edge. And I don't want to think of you like a doll. Your company has a reputation for being discrete, and that's what I need. I can't just date a woman, and so I thought maybe if we liked each other..."

"Holy shit..." Lapis whispered, eyes wide, "Are you looking for a girlfriend through an escort service?"

Peridot's blush intensified, and she nodded her head simply. She knew it was strange, but this was the only thing she had thought might work.

Their drinks were set on the table, interrupting the strange conversation. They ordered their food and the waiter scurried away from the weird atmosphere.

"Oh man, so this isn't a date, it's a **date**. Like a real one." Lapis said, running her manicured hands through her blue hair, "Now I'm a bit nervous, too. I'm not very good at those."

"Neither am I. My marriage was arranged, so needless to say I don't have much experience with dating." Peridot let out a cough before taking a sip of her martini and shrugging, "Well, Miss Lazuli, let's have any incredibly odd date."

And then it happened. A smile broke out on Lapis' face and she began to laugh. She laughed for a solid minute, ending in watery eyes and a tiny snort, her body shaking as she tried to contain it.

Peridot was awestruck at first, before letting out a small snicker of her own. She didn't think a grown woman could look so cute laughing.

That was their very first date.

\----------------------------------------------------

Lapis dropped her bag on the couch and pulled her heels off, rubbing her face and smearing makeup all over. She was exhausted.

It had been a long week. Too many appointments. This always happened when there were elections. Politicians would get stressed out and borrow a little fraction from a discreet stranger.

She noticed her roommate wasn't back yet. She assumed Amethyst was probably still busy at work. She didn't want to know what it was like to work for the bosses.

Lapis walked into the bathroom, getting close to the mirror and looking at the bruise on her upper arm. She cursed when she saw how obviously hand shaped it looked. It was going to be annoying to cover up.

She was home early because her client had started getting a little too aggressive. They hadn't paid for that. It was fine with the company, but clients had to pay extra to compensate for the time it took to deal with the damage.

She hadn't had a date like that since she started seeing Peridot. The blonde didn't know it, but seeing her on a weekly basis was saving Lapis a lot of pain.

Another reason to like her favorite client. She opened the pill cabinet, humming as she got together her antidepressant, anxiety meds, and a few extra strength Motrin for the headache she felt brewing.

Peridot had very quickly became her favorite. At first it was mostly because she thought the older woman was quite attractive and since Peridot was looking for a girlfriend she thought it inappropriate if they slept together when they'd only just started dating.

Lapis didn't think that such an innocent person should be talking to hookers. She smiled, remembering the blonde's blubbering reaction to when she told Peridot exactly that.

With Peridot she sometimes felt like a normal twenty one year old girl. Not a prostitute with a giant debt to pay off and more emotional scars than she could count.

Not someone who nobody cared about. Not someone that got a bigger paycheck and checked into the mental ward for a few days if she was assaulted.

At that thought she looked at the pills in her hand and shook a few more diazepam into the mix before taking the cocktail of medication.

She swallowed them dry and then pulled her hair back into two tiny pigtails so she could wash her face. She rinsed the cleanser off and patted her skin dry with a towel before brushing her teeth.

Lapis frowned at her reflection and went to her room to wait for the medicine to kick in so she could get some rest.

\------------------------------------------------

Peridot looked at her reflection in the mirror, smiling a bit. She was excited the see Lapis. She'd been seeing the younger woman for about three months now.

She'd bought a simple black dress for the night, and her hair was up in a very neat bun on the top of her head. She couldn't remember the last time she put so much effort into getting ready.

She grabbed her purse and walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to her family.

"Ladies night, huh?" Her husband mused, "See you later."

"You look nice, mom! Less stiff than usual." Her thirteen year old son smiled, "September convinced you to get all gussied up, huh? Dad better watch out."

Peridot shared a knowing look with her husband. He had been the one to suggest this. He'd known about her preferences when they met. He didn't care. Their marriage was a business contract, not an exchange of love.

"I'll see you two tomorrow." The blonde smiled, before heading out the door. She was hoping maybe tonight would be the night she seal the deal with Lapis and talked with her about being exclusive.

She didn't want the younger woman sleeping with other people anymore. At some point the idea of it made jealousy rear it's ugly head.

She knew it was Lapis' profession, so she decided to put her money to good use. She knew she could pay for Lapis' living expenses. What was the point of having all this money if she couldn't spend it on what she really wanted?

Peridot handed the valet her keys and walked into the hotel, making a bee line for the front desk.

She gave them the name Evergreen and they gave her the keys. She and Lapis had been using aliases when around other people since they first met. Part of being discreet was people not knowing who you were. She'd gotten a nice room in the top floor. The outer wall was one big window with a great view of the ocean.

The wait was killing her a bit. It had been a busy week at work and she really wanted to see Lapis and unwind. When the elevator door's opened she sped walked to their room, opening the door to reveal Lapis' mostly bare back.

The younger woman had been looking at the view in a maroon dress with a very low cut back. She turned around and smiled, walking over to Peridot to greet her with a kiss.

"This room is amazing. You didn't have to do all this, you know. A regular room is fine." Lapis mused, chuckling a bit.

"Not for tonight. Tonight's special." Peridot rebuffed, kissing Lapis once again. When she pulled away she could have sworn her eyes were playing tricks on her.

She thought she saw Lapis blush, if only for a second.

"A regular room is fine for sex, too."

Peridot choked on her spit, unprepared for that comment. Why would she..? Then it hit her.

The special room, the different hotel, and her saying tonight was special. Lapis might have thought Peridot was doing this to sleep with her.

"T-that's not why I.. I didn't.. I mean.." The blonde stammered, face lighting up.

"That wasn't what you meant?" Lapis asked, "Then what's special about tonight?"

"I-I.. I wanted to ask you if you would be my girlfriend." Peridot murmured, "It was going to be more romantic, though.."

Lapis frowned, grabbing Peridot's hands.

"Are you sure? Have you even dated any other girls?" The younger girl's face was full of concern. Peridot didn't think she'd ever seen Lapis so troubled.

"I didn't want to after I met you. I really like you. I'm very sure that I would like you to be my girlfriend." Peridot smiled. With these new high heels she was actually almost at an even height with Lapis.

Which apparently made kissing a lot easier, because suddenly Lapis' lips were on her's. The blonde's eye widened at the forced behind it. They'd never kissed like this. She decided to go along with it.

"I'll be your girlfriend. And if you don't mind I'd also like to use the room for sex."

Peridot blushed and shook her head, "I don't mind."

"Good."

And lips were on Peridot's again, possibly determined to bruise them. This wasn't what the blonde had planned, but she couldn't be happier for a plan to go so wrong.

\---------------------------------------

Peridot was determined this time to talk with Lapis about being exclusive. The past few times they'd met Peridot would get metaphorially tongue tied.

Then very literally tongue tied. They went at it like teenagers. Neither of them seemed to be able to get enough of each other.

Peridot was pretty sure she was going to go insane if she didn't tie this down because she definitely didn't want to think of Lapis being like that with anyone else.

She looked at her watch, frowning a bit. Lapis was late, which was really weird because the younger had always showed up before her.

An hour longer of waiting and she was really starting to panic. She took a few deep breaths, and dialed Lapis' phone number. 

There was no answer. Something felt very, very wrong about this. Then her phone rang again. The name September flashed across the screen and she felt so relieved.

"Lapis? You're late, is everything okay?" She asked.

"Uh, this isn't Lapis. I'm her roommate. She's not going to make it today. She's in the hospital." A girls voice replied, "We just got her in the psych ward. She'll be out in a couple days. She said to let you know she'll call you then."

"The hospital? A psych ward? I-I don't understand... What happened?" Peridot's voice was shaking. She was doing her best to stay composed in this restaurant full of people.

"Uh.. You're her girlfriend, right? You know what she does. Sometimes things happen. Violent things." The girl over the phone sighed, "But I don't think she would want me to tell you about it. Just.. wait for the call."

The call ended and Peridot felt sick. She stood up, left the restaurant, and walked to her car. She got in, closed the door, and tried to decide what to do.

If Lapis was in a psych ward she knew there was no way they were going to let her see the younger girl. She was just going to have to wait.

Violent things. Violent things in **Lapis'** line of work could only mean horrible things. The blonde clenched her fists.

What the hell had she been thinking? She should have told Lapis to quit right away. If she had just kept it in her pants and talked to Lapis like an adult this would have never happened.

And now there was nothing she could do but wait.

\---------------------------------------------

Sure enough, three days later Peridot got a call. It was around seven and she'd just finished dinner with her family. She ran to her office to answer.

"Lapis?!"

"H-Hey.. I.. I'm sort of stranded. My roommate is busy, and I just.. I really want to get out of here.." Lapis' voice sounded weak and far away.

"Text me the address and I'll be there right away." Peridot replied. She grabbed her keys and purse, rushing out the door.

She drive as fast as she could. When she pulled up Lapis was sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette with a shaking hand.

"Lapis.." Peridot gasped walking up to her girlfriend. The younger girl had bruises all over her body, her arm was in a sling and her lip was stitched up.

"Sorry that you had to pick me up.. And that I didn't make it to our date.. And that this happened.." Lapis murmured, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"No, no it's okay. Don't worry about that stuff, and this isn't your fault. What happened?" Peridot frowned. She reached her hand out to touch her girlfriend, but Lapis flinched so she pulled her hand back.

"D-Do you mind if I explain at my apartment?" Lapis asked, rising to her feet slowly and crushing the cigarette butt under her slip on shoes.

"No, of course I don't mind." Peridot responded, voice soft. It sounded nice to Lapis' ears.

They got in the car and began the drive to Lapis' apartment. Peridot didn't know what to say or do.

It was weird seeing Lapis in such casual clothes. It had never even crossed her mind that Lapis wasn't always all done up.

Right now her girlfriend was curled up in the seat next to her, wearing a baggy white t-shirt and grey sweatpants.

She didn't have heels, makeup, or jewelry on. Her hair was messy and in two tiny pigtails.

Peridot wished she could have seen Lapis like this without all the wounds.

"I like your pigtails." Peridot commented.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lapis' face crumble, tears spilling out. The only noise in the vehicle were sniffles, hiccups and tiny sobs.

They got to Lapis' apartment complex and Peridot opened the car door for the younger girl.

Lapis walked up the stairs, Peridot trailing behind her. The blonde hasn't been to an apartment complex since she was in college so it felt rather surreal on top of all the tension.

Their lives were so different.

Lapis unlocked the door with a bit of a struggle and they went inside. Peridot followed her as she made a beeline for her room.

It was small, the only furniture being her bed and a dresser with an old TV on it. 

"You rock it old school, huh?" Peridot said, looking at the TV. It was a model with an internal DVD player. She knew it well, because her company had made it.

"I brought it from home.. I like to watch movies." Lapis replied, pulling back the comforter on her bed to reveal a pile of pills. The blonde's jaw dropped.

"It's not what it looks like." Lapis' voice was strained as she grabbed the empty bottles on her bedside and sorting the pills back into them, "I was going to take them all.. but I kept thinking about how I wanted to see you, and about my baby sisters. Then I couldn't do it. Amethyst took me to the hospital after that."

Peridot's heart felt like it was being crushed as she watched Lapis make her bed.

"You can go ahead and sit down.. I have to get some water. It's time for me to take my pills." Lapis murmured, gesturing at her bed.

Peridot took a seat, looking at the pill bottles. Lapis was going to try to kill herself with a pile of medication that the blonde didn't even know she was on.

It was becoming clear to her that she didn't really know Lapis at all. Not personally, at least. It wasn't that she hadn't asked Lapis about herself. It was more that the younger girl was very skilled in deflecting the conversation.

Lapis came back with two glasses of water for the both of them and some smucker's uncrustable sandwiches. She took her pills and ripped open the wrapping if the sandwich with her teeth as she sat next to Peridot.

"My mom used to give me smucker's when I cried. She said they were the perfect sandwich and I couldn't be sad if I ate one." The younger girl said, staring down at the disk of PB&J, "She was always wrong about everything, and these things are definitely not the perfect sandwich. But uncrustables do make me feel a little better."

"I didn't know you took medication." Peridot murmured, "I guess there's a lot I don't know."

"That was kind of my fault.. I guess I just don't like to talk about myself. I think it's because I don't like myself and I'm scared of what people will think." Lapis replied, taking a bite of her sandwich, "And I take my pills when I say I'm using the bathroom."

"I like you." Peridot said simply, "I like you a lot."

Lapis set her sandwich in her lap, and reached out to grab Peridot's hand with her own shaky one.

"I had an appointment with a client that I hadn't met before. It wasn't even supposed to be for sex. He and his buddies had just hired me and some other girl to make them look good to their buisness partners." Lapis stared up at the ceiling as if it could somehow help her, "It went bad so fast. Everyone was partying. The other girl and I got drugged. They beat the shit out of us and then.. raped us. I couldn't move. I tried to ask the other girl if she could, but she didn't say anything."

"Lapis.." Peridot whispered, holding the younger woman's hand delicately.

"S-She wouldn't say anything so I thought maybe she was in shock. Maybe it was the first time something like that had happened to her. So I just kept talking to her until the drugs wore off." Tears were pouring down her face, the salt stung her lip, "But when I got up I noticed her eyes weren't open, a-and she had a lot of blood around her head. S-So I checked her pulse... She was dead. And I couldn't do anything. I couldn't tell the cops what happened, so I used to pay phone a block down to make an anonymous call and.. walked home."

"This wasn't the first time something like that happened to **you**?" Peridot asked.

Lapis shook her head, sniffling, "It doesn't happen a lot. The bosses screen for this sort of thing. This is going to be awful. The recovery is going to put me so far back. They said it's going to take a month for me to fully heal."

"Lapis.. Don't do this anymore. Please. I can pay for all your living expenses. Let me take care of you." Peridot squeezed the younger girl's hand, "I'll help you with everything."

"I can't.. You don't understand.. Peridot I'm not an escort because I want to be. My dad got into serious trouble and got the mafia's help to bail him out. He fled to Mexico and they started threatening my mom, saying they were going to kill my family if she didn't pay up. We lived in a trailer, we didn't have any fucking money. They sent someone to figure out what we could do." Lapis explained, "I just turned eighteen. They said if I did this I could pay off the debt and they'd leave my family alone."

"Well.. How much more do you still owe?" Peridot asked.

"About three hundred thousand dollars. I'll be able to pay it all off in two more years." Lapis sighed, laying back on her bed, "It's going to take longer now though. I told Amethyst had happened, and she's probably already told Pearl. They're going to force me into therapy, give me less work, and make me fill the prescriptions the psych ward just gave me. Everything has a cost."

"I can give you three hundred thousand dollars." Peridot said, "Getting that much money together at once will take a few days, but I could do it."

"Peridot, do you even understand what that implicates? You'd be giving the mafia all that money. You'd be purchasing my freedom. Isn't it already complicated enough just knowing that you're buying my time? Doesn't that bug you?" Lapis muttered, "Don't you ever wonder if any of this is real? Don't you think about if I'm using you, that maybe I don't care about you at all? That this is all just a sham to get you to keep coming back and giving me your money?"

"I might be.. Very obvious, and obtuse in social situations.. But I'm not stupid. I don't make billion of dollars because I'm an heir. It's because I'm a genius." Peridot replied, "I may have never been involved with an escort, but I've met hundreds of thousands of people who want my money. When you grow up like that, you tend to be able to hone the keen skill of knowing whose sincere or not. And I'm willing to bet.."

Peridot got up, pushing the closet open to reveal very few clothes, none of which she'd worn to met with Peridot. They weren't there. No fancy clothes, no fancy shoes. She'd known the second she walked through the door to the younger woman's room. There was no such decoration, or personal touch. Because people that didn't have money didn't have such a luxury. The blonde opened the drawers to much of the same result. They only things in them were Lapis' underwear, a well-loved binder of torrented movies, a few childhood knickknacks, and paper.

Endless heaps of paper, ranging from drawings to poems, to letters. When she looked back and saw the pained expression on Lapis' face she could tell she was right. All this paper contained the content of her lover's soul. Every message from her family, every sketch, every tear stained page. When you have nothing you create.

"You don't want me for my money. You wouldn't have called me for help if you did. You **need** my money. You've sent back every cent you could to pay off this debt. You're a good person. Let me help you." The blonde offered again, walking back over to Lapis. She pulled the younger woman into a gentle embrace.

Lapis could feel the tears going, like a faucet she couldn't turn off. She gripped onto Peridot with her good hand, sobs filling the room.

\-----------------------------------

It had taken two weeks for Peridot to get the money together. She didn't have to worry about anything happening to Lapis in that time since she was still recovering, which was a huge relief. She'd been spending every moment she could with Lapis, but every time she left the younger girl seemed more and more broken. The blonde didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to help. But she did know that at least she could do this, and maybe that would help ease Lapis' mind.

She'd wired the money to the offshore bank accounts and drove to Lapis' apartment. The blonde called Lapis on the way there, but there was no answer. She knocked on the door when she got there, but still no answer. Peridot grabbed the spare key from under the mat, unlocking the front door and walking to Lapis' room.

When she opened it she was hit with the smell of iron. She didn't see Lapis, but she did see of puddle of red coming from the closet. Her hands shook as she opened it, revealing a crumpled up Lapis Lazuli with a bullet wound in her chest and a gun in her hand.

Peridot didn't remember how long she held her lover's body, just Amethyst screaming when she saw them. She barely remembered getting a ride home from 'Pearl' one of the women apparently in charge of Lapis, just Garnet prying the younger girl's corpse out of her grasp. She had a hard time piecing together the conversation they had when they told her they didn't know that she'd paid off the debt and just assumed Lapis was going to keep working, giving her the gun for protection.

And as she sat in this overpriced mental ward with the short letter in her hand, she hoped someday she wouldn't remember it so well.

_Evergreen,_

_**I love you.** _

_x September_


End file.
